bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
