who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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