god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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