I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
