There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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