Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
