VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
