I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
smell my finger.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
