is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
