She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
