Kareoke will never be a sober sport
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
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I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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