The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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