I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's just like the Real World with babies
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
