we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
