I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My penis needs a shock collar
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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