Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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