I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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