South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
