Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
