Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
