I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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