Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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