So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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