So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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