I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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