When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
