Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
