Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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