Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
