1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
