he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
