giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
