I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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