Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
