As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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