You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We have started to decorate penises.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
