Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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