im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
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