So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Can Purell be used as lube?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
