there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
