why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
