I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
