Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
How does one acquire holy water?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
