Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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