Where is the hickey?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
