Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
