I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
