I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
