i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
