I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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