i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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