I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
