holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I have post one night stand depression
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
