ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
