so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
