I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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