Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
