I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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