ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
