No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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