Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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