Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?