I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!