I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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