if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.