Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
