cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
