so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
