i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
