If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
